©Copyright 2000-2008. All rights reserved. No part of this website may be reprinted or reproduced in whole or in part without permission from About Families |
|
|||||||||||
|
Feature Articles for July, 2008 As a seasoned mother of three adult children, and now a grandmother of four ranging in age from 3 to 13, one might expect me to have a certain expertise in the area of parenting. I assure you, that is not the case. If I can borrow from the “Toy Story” premise when Woody tells Buzz Lightyear that Buzz wasn’t flying; it was more like “falling with style,” that pretty much describes the trial and error of my own parenting experiences. I may have thought I was flying, however like Buzz, I was, more accurately, falling… Each of my children are very different individuals, and they were unique even as babies. They had different interests and different issues. For that reason, it was impossible to effectively use a one-size fits all parenting template. When I brought my infant daughter home from the hospital, it was just baby and parents. Three and a half years later when I brought home my son, we were a family of four and I wasn’t able to do all the things with her that she was accustomed to. Because she was always big on being independent, she took to the role of older sister without a glitch – which freed me up to spend enormous amounts of time with baby. However, when I brought home the third baby just twenty-two months later, the dynamics of our family was very different. My middle child, only a toddler at that point, was not willing to relinquish his role as mommy’s boy to his new baby brother. Bringing home baby should have felt very familiar. After all, this was a three-peat for us, yet there was nothing familiar about it. Between plummeting hormone levels, and sleep deprivation, everything seemed to be more difficult than I remembered previously. In those early years, I was tired so much of the time that I can safely say even if I had wanted to embrace the same parenting techniques, I was probably not going to be able to. Sure, I did the same things: housework, meals, laundry, grocery shopping, and back to work. Still, things were different. The demand was greater. I have a friend who recently shared with me that she is frequently told by her children that she doesn’t treat them the same. She confesses that she doesn’t. She asks, “How could I? They are two very different people, who came into my life at different times.” I think her explanation is not only accurate for her situation, but it hits the mark with me as well. Yes, for sure, I was more strict with my daughter. She remembers having more responsibilities than her brothers even in the teen years. And, that is probably true. My middle boy was definitely moved into a big boy bed earlier than either of his siblings. In retrospect, he may not have been ready for that move, but “necessity is the mother of invention.” And, I am sure my younger son felt like odd man out when he wanted to do things his older siblings were doing, but wasn’t allowed to do because of his age. There isn’t a one size fits all approach to parenting. The best thing we can do is provide a loving and caring home for our kids. After all, love covers a multitude of… mistakes! Political Factoids and Past Presidents FYI: Emergencies Understanding and Preventing Stillbirth Mari Conners |
||||||||||||
